New Year Goals vs Lifelong Intentions
Do I believe in New Year Resolutions?
Pondering over this question became important to me this year, owing to my dream to build The Quaint Space. In an ideal world, I should be harping about the concept of a resolution owing to the attention that it would give this space. Since we live in a version of the world quite far from idealistic, I still need to stick to my guts and say that I don't believe in new year resolutions.
The whole concept of a new beginning does not trouble me as much as the stringent rules that we tend to place around it. In the frenzy of hoping to attain a shiny new image, we tend to expend all our energy into building schedules of how soon we can get to this image rather than truly harnessing the essence of what a new beginning means. How much intent, time, commitment and consistency does the beginning of a new version of ourselves take, is hardly ever thought through? So how different are the personal goals that we self-assign from those assigned to us by the fast paced workplace with an over-ambitious and critical boss, who we whine about all year long?
Human’s love a new beginning - be it in the calendar year or in our lives, a scientifically proven fact that I was obsessed about researching this time last year. The feeling of hope that we attach to what we can achieve in life in January is probably at the highest. Imagine using this hope (which is one of the most powerful emotions studied in Positive psychology) to calmly and carefully dissect and understand what we really need in our lives.
What truly brings us contentment?
Why are we chasing happiness so blindly?
Why ridicule our bodies all year long?
What are the underlying reasons for our anxiety?
Why are our minds addicted to being occupied?
Why chase perfection?
Why do we crave rest, yet never truly take advantage of a break when we get one?
Why can’t we be more kind to our own flaws and failures?
These are tough questions and I understand that most of us would rather avoid answering these conundrums, even when we are wholly aware of the fact that true change will only occur when we get answers to them. Instead, we focus on putting a pretty bandage of looking good to the outside world. Maybe, obtaining a social stamp is ultimately all that matters?
So yes, hurrah-ing through one of the most stressful times of the year, in which we are overly critical about ourselves, and become completely oblivious about the real underlying matters that could possibly give us a new perspective to life, is very hard is get behind. Even if it means that I can’t strategically harness this time of the year for my coaching practice.
Instead, The Quaint Space and I, believe in the power of hope, the hope that comes out of fearlessly facing and pondering about things that truly matter to us, be it positive and/or negative, and taking a step towards helping ourselves kindly and gently. Be it at any time of the year.
Let’s focus not so much on building strict rules and deadlines for growth and achievement, but on the unwavering commitment to the journey, the process, the becoming - which to be honest, has no timelines.
Let’s instead make promises to always be present for our inner voice, to be kind to it, and in the process focus on building an ally within us that partners through our ups and downs.
Let's make intentions this year, instead of hard deadlines.
Let’s honour the failures as well as the wins - because that’s what hope means.
Let’s embrace our inner child and all our younger versions that tag along at all times of the year.
Let’s make space for all versions of emotions that we feel and not ridicule or disregard it.
Let’s make time to invest in the things that we enjoy doing and never forget to have a little fun in life.
Let’s fear less and impose less of our fears on others.
Let’s build stronger communities that support not just our physical well-being but our mental wellness too.
Let’s judge less and encourage people who give their life a good try.
Let’s look inward more than we look outward.
Let’s be kinder to the planet and our allies that live beside us.
If new year resolutions looked more like these, then I’d happily believe in them. No questions asked.
